sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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