I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
