"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
