Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize