everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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