it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize