Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
