her vagine was all disorganized.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
