Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
