That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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