I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
