like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
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I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
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We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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