i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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