do herpes really smell.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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