Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
