I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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