He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
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I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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