i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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