addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
