Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
