ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
