I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize