Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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