K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
