i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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