I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
