so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
