I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
