I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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