New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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