i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I see more hoeing in ur future
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
