if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
