I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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