Me too!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
