You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
