Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
