Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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