so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
