we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
