I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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