I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
