So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is wine microwaveable?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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