fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
