Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
