Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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