i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
