dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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