Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
