We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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