better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
