I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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