He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
