Non-Jews are for practice
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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