The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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