Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
