I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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