Im at strip club and am horny
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
