were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize