some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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