I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
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I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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