He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..