I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach