It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.