My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.