ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
