ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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