so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
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I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
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Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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