Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
