I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
