I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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